What Happens Post-Baby? Here’s What They Don’t Tell You

Having a baby is truly magical, but no one really tells you what happens after your little bundle actually arrives. For me, the worst has been my postpartum hair loss. Here are some postpartum truths I’ve discovered.

1. You’ll lose your hair. Lots of it.

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2. Sleep deprivation is real. Like really real.

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3. Food? What’s that? You’ll forget to feed yourself because all you care about is feeding your child.

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4. Breastfeeding is hard. It’s okay to say “I’ve had enough” after you’ve given it your best shot.

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5. You’ll have a whole new appreciation for coffee.

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6. Gone are the days of social drinking.

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What were your truths? I’d love to know! I may even add them to this list! Leave a comment blow.

What I’ve Learned About “Mom Guilt”

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

Mom guilt. They’re two words one may hear while pregnant, but in reality won’t ever experience until your little one arrives. Sure, you prepare your home, family, your body for your baby’s arrival. You make sure you’re nourishing yourself properly to grow that little seed into a majestic human being. You give up caffeine (or if you’re like me, switch to decaf), walk for 30-minutes every day, take your vitamins and listen to your doctor’s advice and guidance to ensure your baby is growing as they should.

But what happens when your little nugget arrives? Well, you’ll lose sleep, forget to feed yourself since you’re so consumed in your baby, basic hygiene may go out the door for a week or two (granted, at some point you have to shower), make sure your animals that shed are kept in a separate area, if you have a winter or summer baby rack up that heat/air condition bill and you figure out your rhythm when it comes to nourishing your child.

Let me be clear. Mom guilt can happen to any mom for any specific reason. Your hormones are through the roof the first two weeks postpartum (you thought pregnancy hormones were bad, guess again…) that even a Pepsi commercial can make you cry.

What I personally have learned about mom guilt is that it’s 100% in my head. I am playing the mom guilt card in many different situations, and for me, it’s been mainly associated to figuring out the best way to feed my baby.

Since birth, my little girl has had a hard time latching. Every time we’d try, she’d get frustrated that she couldn’t latch onto my boob. She has a very small mouth, which can be part of the issue, but I blame my nipples. They aren’t the most ideal for breastfeeding. At the hospital, my body had to heal itself a bit before it could really think about nourishing my child, so I was self-expressing colostrum and finger-feeding it to her. Once we arrived home, I was pumping and trying to get her to latch. I was pumping every hour and a half when I got home that I had cracked and bleeding nipples and have since discovered a bruise on my right breast from the intense suction (a hospital-grade pump will do that to you).

I try and get my little one to latch every time, but in all honesty, we’ve had to supplement her with formula. The formula I’m using is from Happy Family Brands and is the Stage 1 Happy Baby Organic Formula. The reason I love this formula so much is that it’s modeled after breast milk and doesn’t wreak havoc on my little one’s digestive system. She handles this formula really well and I feel good when I feed it to her. At this point in our breastfeeding journey, it looks like my supply is dwindling down no matter how much I pump or how much Fenugreek I take.

Enter my main “mom guilt.” I keep beating myself up that I can’t provide more of my breast milk to my child. At this point, she is a formula baby.

While I know that the first month of life is the most crucial for my little one so she receives the antibodies in my milk to help build a strong immune system, potentially having to stop because my supply is getting smaller was never part of my plan.

Society puts a lot of pressure on moms to breastfeed their child. “Breast is best” they say. True, it is, but what about those moms whose supply isn’t there, or moms who just don’t have any milk at all? They give them formula. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I envy those moms because they never had to even go through a bout of mom guilt related to breastfeeding.

When taking my breastfeeding class prior to giving birth, the instructor mentioned that it doesn’t matter what type of nipple you have (inverted, flat or pointy), you can breastfeed. What they fail to mention every time is that it’s not easy. There are so many situations that may come up that prevent successful breastfeeding:

Your baby has a hard time latching due to a small mouth, lips, etc.
Your nipples just aren’t erect enough for them to hit the roof of your baby’s mouth in order to stimulate suction (this is my problem).
You have little to no milk supply (granted, you won’t know this till the time your milk is supposed to come in). This is also my problem.
It’s a frustrating experience trying to get your baby to latch. You get stressed out and they get stressed out, resulting in nothing.

All in all, it doesn’t matter how you feed your child––whether it’s breastfeeding, pumping and bottle feeding, or straight up formula––the only thing that matters is that your child is fed, growing and healthy.

If you’re happy and not stressed, your baby will be, too.

Did you have any issues in the breastfeeding department? I’d love to know which route you took for your child. Let me know in the comments!

Heading Back To Work: Bottle Feeding to the Rescue

This post originally appeared on RedTri.com.

There is nothing in the world like the smell of a newborn baby, especially when it’s your own (and your first!). Basking in the glory of your new bundle of love never gets old and as the days turn into weeks and those weeks turn into months before you know it, you have to get ready to go back to work.

As a breastfeeding mom who also works full time, I’ve needed to figure out how I can still give my little one my milk, all while still being able to maintain a successful career.

Since bottle feeding is my only choice when it comes to feeding my child while working, I didn’t want to use a bottle that would lead to nipple confusion. I still want my baby to latch and continue feeding at the breast when possible.

Finding bottles that wouldn’t result in nipple confusion is a trial and error experience. I’ve tried so many bottles from AVENT and Dr. Brown’s to Evenflo and Tommee Tippee.

Either my little one won’t take the bottle or she mimics bottle feeding on the breast, which is somewhat unpleasant. The nipples on the bottles I’ve tried are either too short, too thick, too thin or provides so much flow that my baby can overeat.

Enter nanobébé. Not only do these bottles mimic the breast, but are the first on the market to preserve the nutrients found in breastmilk, so you know your little one is still getting everything he or she needs. It’s nice to know that I can warm up stored breastmilk and not lose any of the antibodies and nutrients. (You can learn more about nanobébé here.)

Bottles Made for Pumping Moms Like Me

Like I said before, the shape of this bottle makes transitioning from breast to bottle and back super easy for my little one. There is little to no nipple confusion as the shape of the bottle mimics the breast.

What I also love about these bottles is that there is an attachment so you can pump directly into the bottle. Gone are the days of having to pump in separate bottles and then pour out the appropriate amount. It’s a one-stop-shop with these bottles.

Nanobébé also offers breastmilk storage bags and a little storage bin to go along with it, so keeping accurate amounts of breastmilk to then transfer to a bottle makes things easy when you’re working or on-the-go. This has been especially convenient when I’m having to have someone watch my little girl while I attend meetings or on a conference call.

Fast Warming

I’ve noticed the nanobébé bottles warm up so fast! It’s super convenient, especially when my baby is crying at night and I can’t feed her fast enough. With the way these bottles are shaped, overheating is prevented, making sure all the nutrients are maintained.

Before using these bottles, I had no idea that when you warm up breast milk in other bottles it depletes it of its nutrients! New mom brain, for sure on that one.

Quick Cooling

According to nanobébé, “The FDA states that bacteria in fresh breastmilk doubles every 20 minutes that it does not reach storing temperature (fridge or freeze). nanobébé’s unique surface area is geometrically designed to spread the breastmilk into a thin layer allowing it to cool twice as fast as standard bottles on the market, which prevents bacterial growth.”

photo by Leigh Weinberg

Easy-Peezy Cleaning

You’d think that with constantly going back and forth between bottles and breastfeeding that the cleaning and sterilizing of the bottles would be a pain. I have found that the nanobébé bottles are actually really easy to clean. They come apart smoothly (and not many parts to them, thank goodness!) and fit easily on any drying rack.

I do have to say that the nanobébé Slim Drying Rack makes things even ten times easier since the bottles fit the rack like a glove. Perk: you can store it anywhere when not in use as it’s so skinny! Keeps my kitchen organized, for sure. They can also easily stack in your refrigerator or, when not in use, in your cabinet.

My Husband Loves It, Too!

When my husband is home and I need to get some work done, all he has to do is take one of the breastmilk storage bags out and put it in a bottle, heat it up and voila! Our baby will have her meal.

If you’re like me and have already transitioned back into work after having a baby and are looking for bottles to make your life easier when you have to catch a meeting or a conference call, don’t overlook the nanobébé bottles.

Or, if you know a new mom that would greatly benefit from these bottles (and other products), nanobébé has a whole starter kit just for newborns. I know I’ll be heading to Babies”R”Us or buybuy BABY to grab some more of these to keep a constant ready-to-go stash for my little nugget!

Head to nanobébé to purchase a Newborn Starter Set or a Starter Set and receive 20% off + free shipping when you use code RedTri20 at checkout!

–all photos courtesy of nanobébé

My Labor & Delivery Story: Part 2

If you read part 1 of my labor and delivery story, you’ll learn how things progressed for me during the early stages of labor.

Once I hit active labor at the hospital, everything changed. At 5.5 cm I plateaued and needed Pitocin to keep things progressing nicely. Before I had them start the drug, I asked for the epidural. The procedure to get the epidural is scarier to think about then actually experience. Since the anesthesiologist has to come in and do the procedure, you’re only allowed one other person with you, so I had Max stay with me. He had to wear a scrub cap and everything (as did I) in order for the room to be sterile enough.

I was lucky with my anesthesiologist in the sense that he was quick with the epidural procedure. We were watching (and I was feeling) my contractions on the monitor and he was able to do the procedure in between contractions, which was nice, so I didn’t have to hold too still during those times. Once the epidural catheter was in my back (yes, it’s a procedure that goes into your spine to numb the nerves from the waist down), I thought the medicine would kick in almost immediately.

This is where things took a turn for the intense in my labor. The epidural medication kicked in a first, but lasted maybe 20 minutes. I had a button I could push for more medicine every 15 minutes, but suddenly the pump administering the epidural medication started beeping with an error code. The anesthesiologist came back over and I heard him say “hmm, error code ‘air in pump'” and my eyes got wide. I asked if they were pumping air into my spine and I was reassured numerous times by the anesthesiologist and my fabulous nurse Lisa that it wasn’t the case. Still, when you’re immobile with a tube in your spine and you think air is getting pumped in there, your brain takes a turn for the worst. You don’t want to come out of a childbirth experience paralyzed!

So, they replaced the pump administering the medication. Then the other pump malfunctioned: same error.

To make a really long story short, my epidural didn’t work. It was a faulty epidural and pump (and, apparently, we can blame our President for the problem since Kaiser gets its epidural meds from Puerto Rico and they were low on supply with a lot of New Years births happening…).

I. Felt. Everything.

It got so bad that my nurse literally had to administer drugs right into my IV port so I could get some rest before having to push. That’s the whole point of having an epidural is to get ample rest before putting your body through one of the most stressful, yet magical, things ever. Having to deal with excruciating pain was not part of my birth plan once I received the epidural.

I was in so much pain that I was literally screaming every time a contraction happened. Thanks Pitocin. At around 11:45 p.m. on January 1, 2018, the doctor checked me and as she was checking me, I had a contraction at the same time, and my water broke. That was a surreal experience actually feeling my water break. Once that happened, my labor progressed a lot faster.

January 2, 2018

At around 1 a.m. the doctor came in to check me again and told me that I was 100% effaced, 10 cm dilated and 0% station, and ready to start pushing. At that point, my night nurse, Kat, started helping me with the pushing process. Eliana and Max were each at one leg holding it and she was helping me count to push. I was so exhausted and felt like I wasn’t pushing to the best of my ability through each contraction. After pushing for a little over 2 hours, the OBGYN attending (yes, residents primarily deliver you at Kaiser San Francisco, unless they need assistance from higher ups) on call came in and asked if I could continue. I vividly remember saying that I can’t push anymore, that I was getting tired.

The doctor said “before you give up…” which my quick-witted response was “really, before I give up? I’ve been pushing for 3 hours and in labor for almost 36!..” the doctor wanted to use vacuum assistance to get my little girl out. I obliged after being threatened with an emergency c-section (that would not have been fun). Both doctors told me that if I couldn’t push Jadyn out with three pushes, it’d be necessary to have a c-section.

My first two pushes were mediocre and she would come down and then go back up. My last and final push, I gave it my all and pushed for way longer than 10 seconds and then…

Instant relief.

Jadyn Sky was born on January 2, 2018 at 3:17 a.m. She is the best New Years gift I could have ever received. After all the trauma my body went through, the end result is perfect. She’s my little angel nugget and we are so, so in love with her.

During my delivery of her I ended up getting a second degree tear and that was definitely not fun to feel the tugging of stitches down there. Also, according to my mom, husband and bestie, I lost a lot of blood. That would explain why I passed out twice about two hours after Jadyn was born when they tried to have me go pee after delivery. Thank goodness a nurse was watching the baby!

January 2-4, 2018

My hospital stay was to be expected. I ended up needing iron to help with the blood loss and nurses kept checking in on me every few hours. We attempted breastfeeding, but Jadyn is having a hard time latching, so I’ve been pumping and bottle feeding her (please no judgement. She’s getting my breast milk and it shouldn’t matter how). After a couple days of nurses and doctors checking in on me – and pressing on my uterus to expel any blood – we were able to go home. Jadyn checked out with a clean bill of health and I checked out with Motrin, Tylenol, a stool softener and iron supplements to last me a lifetime.

Let’s just say I haven’t received a solid night’s sleep since December 30, 2017. But in the end, it’s all worth it as we have the most beautiful little nugget in the entire world.

She Has Arrived!

I am so happy to announce to you all that our little bundle is finally here!

Jadyn Sky made her debut at 3:17 a.m. on January 2, 2018.

Labor and delivery story to come at a later date.

xoxo,

Leigh

Officially 40 Weeks Pregnant

As of today I am 40 weeks pregnant. And so far…nothing. Our little girl is cozy in there and doesn’t seem to want to leave, while I am getting more and more uncomfortable. We are so ready and excited to meet her. I want to really see who she looks like: does she have my nose or lips? What about Max’s eyes? We are so curious and so ready.

Today is also a very bittersweet day. Today marks 10 years since my father’s passing and it feels like it just happened yesterday. Here’s what I posted on my personal Facebook account that sums things up perfectly (along with two of my favorite photos of us):

“Today is always a hard day. I cannot believe it has been 10 years since this great man left this earth. This year has been a joyous one and I know it’s because of him. He has been watching over me ever since he departed and made sure, especially these last 9 months, that his little girl will have one of her own very soon.

Today is also my official due date. Crazy how the circle of life happens, right? We want to meet you Baby W, so please arrive soon!

Miss you every day, dad. I wish you were physically here to witness this magical time, but I know you are watching from above. I love you. “

If my dad were still physically here on this earth I know he’d be so ecstatic to meet his granddaughter and be cheering me on to get her out. This time of year is always tough, but with Baby W making her debut literally at any time, this time of year will truly be joyous.

If I don’t write again before 2018, I wish you all a safe, fabulous and Happy New Year!

Pregnancy Update: 39 Weeks

And so it begins… I am currently 39 weeks and 2 days and let me tell you, the aches and pains of pregnancy are absolutely real at this point. I have been really lucky during this pregnancy overall, though. I hadn’t really started feeling horrible until about 38 weeks. The back pain increased, walking turned into waddling and pregnancy insomnia is now in full effect. You know it’s bad when I’m writing this blog post while currently bouncing on a birthing ball.

Here’s what’s been happening since I gave a true pregnancy update or written a pregnancy post:

Baby W’s nursery is done. I am currently waiting for this custom bow holder from Magnolia Sweet Things (I love Etsy) and this rug I ordered from Overstock.com as the final thing to go under my rocking chair so it stops sliding when I sit in it. I kept her nursery somewhat neutral, going for greys, whites, blush pinks and golds. I have butterfly decals on the wall where her crib is and a grey rocker custom selected for me by Curated Nest (check out my sponsored post with them here).
We took all our classes. Per my healthcare provider’s instruction, we completed the three classes they strongly recommend we take prior to our little one’s arrival. Those are: breastfeeding, newborn care and preparing for childbirth. The most informative and bearable was the preparing for childbirth class. We even met another couple who is due a few weeks after me, so our little one with already have a playmate around the same age!
Hospital bags are ready. Baby W’s bag was ready at 36 weeks and I finally finished packing mine last weekend. I know, I know… it’s just hard to truly pack when I’m still using things on a daily basis (brushes, deodorants, etc), but I bought some travel sized items to take with me and everything is packed.
Car seat is installed. We officially installed the car seat in my car. Thanks to my father-in-law, we got our Chicco Bravo Trio Travel System that comes with a car seat base for easy (and safe!) install. We’re surely ready to bring our little one home from the hospital once she decides she wants to make her debut.
Labor playlist is ready. If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I shared my labor and delivery playlist with you! Music has always played a big part in my life, so I can’t imagine going through something so monumental without music. Here’s the post if you’d like to check it out.
Trying to kick-start labor. I know I really shouldn’t be trying my hardest to get this little one out, but I am just so uncomfortable at this point. I’ve been googling ways to kick-start labor and they range from nipple stimulation and lots of sex to castor oil and drinking raspberry leaf tea. At the time this post was written, lots of raspberry tea has been consumed. We’ll see which of these options helps!

How did you feel this close to delivery? I’d love to know in the comments!

Let the Countdown Begin!

It’s so crazy to think that almost nine months ago I found out I was pregnant. From working my full-time job at Red Tricycle to traveling over the summer to spending as much time with friends and family on weekends as possible, this pregnancy feels like it has flown by. I can’t even believe our baby shower was two weeks ago!

I am exactly one month away from my due date!

At my 36-week appointment on Monday, it was learned that our baby girl is head down – not “I’m ready to come out now” head down, but she’s starting to adjust herself into the right position. My next appointment will be at 38 weeks if I haven’t gone into labor already.

Things are now coming together. On the 18th we had our beautiful co-ed baby shower hosted by my mom and pseudo-sister at her place (check out my photo slideshow) and it was such a fantastic afternoon celebrating baby girl. My husband’s friends drove up from Santa Cruz to spend time with us and it was just a really joyful day. Check out the slideshow below for some behind-the-scenes look at the shower.

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Now things are starting to really get real: we just started receiving all our nursery furniture that we ordered, so this weekend will consist of our hospital tour, followed by putting together the crib, dresser, bedside bassinet and changing table. I can’t wait till the nursery is completely put together! We only have her blush pink curtains hanging up there and a sign that says “Spread the Sparkle.” Check out my post about Curated Nest if you’re in the market for nursery interior design ideas!

We are getting so excited to meet our little nugget! We cannot believe she will be here in just a month (or sooner!).

Do you have any labor and delivery tips and tricks? I’d love to know! Leave a comment below.

What to Expect Part 2

If you read my last post in the What to Expect series, you’ll know that the very first appointment you have with your nurse practitioner or doctor is almost an hour and a half long! Definitely an overwhelming experience, but rest assured that you’ll feel great about your pregnancy and if you’ve had any questions, they’ll get answered. Most doctors now offer email communication which makes your life even easier when you feel uncertain about things you can or can’t do.

So when do you see your doctor next?

Believe it or not, you don’t see your doctor again until you’re really close to starting your second trimester. The second time I saw my doctor was when I was 12-weeks. I literally saw my doctor and then jumped on a 14 hour flight overseas. That was for sure an exhilarating experience.

The 12-week check-up lasts about 45 minutes including the wait time from getting your blood pressure, weight and temperature taken to when you actually see the doctor. My doctor called this the “viability” exam to make sure that the fetus is still viable and growing. Some women can miscarry between weeks 8 and 12, hence why you have your appointments around then.

Your doctor will go over any prenatal blood work you had done and answer any questions that have come up since your last visit or email and then you’ll have another vaginal ultrasound. I know… I just shared too much info, but I want to be real with you all. This is the last vaginal ultrasound you have unless they can’t take certain measurements at your anatomy ultrasound later down the road (different post to come!).

As uncomfortable as it is for those 15-20 minutes of scanning, it’s remarkable. At 12-weeks, your little kidney bean has developed arms, legs, you can make out the skull and even its ears! While gender is determined upon conception, you won’t really be able to start spotting genitalia until around 9-weeks and even then, most doctors and ultrasound techs won’t tell you what you’re having until your anatomy ultrasound which happens between 18 and 20 weeks (at least with my health care provider).

If you so choose, between these first two appointments you’ll have your first round of genetic testing. You won’t get the results in until after your genetic ultrasound (this checks for any spinal abnormalities in the crucial growing stages) and the second round of genetic testing that’s done at the beginning of your second trimester.

What to Expect Part 1

Here I go with another series. I know, I know… but I figured this one might be a little more beneficial than the Do’s and Don’ts of Pregnancy. Now, I’m not copying the What to Expect When You’re Expecting best-seller. My series is more along the lines of what you should expect at doctor’s appointments and what tests you need to think about.

The reason I started this series is because a) a friend of mine asked about it and b) it can be a really overwhelming experience if it’s your first child.

The only thing I knew to do after finding out I was pregnant was to email my OBGYN and start the process. Not even a week after I emailed my doctor did her staff call me and start asking questions and giving me a plethora of information. The phone nurse asked when my last menstrual cycle was and calculated my due date that way (I’m due this December) and then proceeded to tell me about all these videos I need to watch before my first ultrasound and doctor’s appointment. I should also expect links to review about what I can and can’t do or eat, as well as tips for a healthy pregnancy in my inbox. Then was I able to ask questions. Learning all these pieces of information, I didn’t have many questions to ask on the phone. My first ultrasound was scheduled around 2 weeks after my phone call with the nurse.

Oh, can’t forget to mention the mountain of paperwork that was sent to me that needed to be filled out before my first appointment. It went through my whole family history – and my husband’s – to help rule out certain genetic testing (if you decide to do that, which we did). We filled out all the paperwork and put it aside until we needed to bring it to our appointment.

Fast forward two weeks and my husband and I are sitting in the exam room, waiting for the nurse practitioner. My healthcare provider calls this first ultrasound the “confirmation” ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and to calculate whether your due date is accurate or not. They do the standard weight check-in and blood pressure readings and then go in for the full exam. Now, I’m going to get a little TMI here, but your first two ultrasounds are done vaginally, so it’s really uncomfortable, but not painful. Think of it as a pap smear with a thick tool. I’m just grateful that I didn’t need a full bladder as sound waves tend to travel better with one.

Then we saw the baby: our little kidney bean at the time. So small that it would have harmed the baby to turn on the doppler and hear the heartbeat, but boy was it beating! The nurse took some measurements and made sure everything was kosher and then she printed out some pictures, let me get re-dressed and came back into the room to start asking and answering questions (check out my pregnancy do’s and don’ts post for more info).

While the paperwork we filled out gave our nurse practitioner a guideline, she wanted to go into more detail about what we can expect during this whole process. A slew of blood tests for me, and my husband not needing to be at every single appointment (lucky him!!). We then had to decide whether we wanted to start our genetic testing, which we did, and I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork for that. My nurse practitioner also put in an order for other prenatal tests that would tell me my blood type, if I have a cold, how my glucose levels are, etc. Lots of pricking, for sure! Fun fact: genetic testing is done through the State of California and not in your local lab, so while you can get your blood drawn at your local lab, they send it off to the State and it takes three weeks to get your results.

After discussing everything, they scheduled my next appointment for around four weeks later and I made my way down to the lab to get my first set of blood tests done. Stay tuned for Part Two of the series.

Fast Facts:

Length of appointment: 1 hour and 15 minutes.

What is done: Confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound (vaginal) and questions.

Next steps: First trimester genetic testing and prenatal workup blood tests.

What was your first experience like after finding out you were pregnant? I’d love to know. Leave a comment below.