Made To Mommy

Documenting my millennial mom life

This Time of Year Is Always Hard. Here’s Why It’s Even Harder This Year.

Fifteen years ago I lost my dad. It was sudden and as a teen who had just started college, I had to grow up very very quickly. I had to be strong for my mom while she navigated the sudden loss of her spouse, but after six months, I broke. I missed my dad so much. The bond between a father and daughter is something special and my dad was my protector. Yes, I had a boyfriend at the time who I was infatuated with, but no one compares to a dad.

Fast forward to today, and I miss my dad more than ever. This year has been particularly hard and I have spent many a nights crying and wishing my dad were here to help me through the separation and—soon, hopefully—divorce. My mom has surely stepped up, as has my village of close friends and my moms groups, but there’s still that bit that is missing. The one man I can always count on isn’t here anymore and it truly sucks.

The light at the end of the tunnel is still a bit aways away, however, I can see it and it’s there. I have good days and bad days, but as long as my kids are happy, then I can handle the bigger things.

I know that 2023 will be a better year, if not the best I’ve had in a long time, and I can’t wait for it to get here.

What helped you navigate life after losing someone important in yours? Let me know below.

Wow, it’s been a minute…

More like almost three years, but who’s really counting. A lot has happened over the last almost three years; Jadyn is now almost 5 (holy smokes!) and I have a son named Ben who is one. I’m recently separated, with my divorce being finalized hopefully in December and I’m just trying to navigate raising two kids with no husband. Thank goodness for my mom’s help, I’ll just say that.

It’s been a whirlwind, that’s for sure, but I’m ready to focus on myself and find my true partner in life. I hope you’ll stick around with me as I navigate my new norm.

Xoxo,

Leigh

Hello 2020!

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Holy moly it has been a long time since I wrote a post on this site. Once Jadyn started preschool my work got busy and I was just trying to hustle so I could enjoy some family time up in Oregon for the holidays.

I last updated you on Jadyn’s first few weeks of preschool and it’s now safe to say that she absolutely LOVES it. So much so I added an additional day this second semester. She has made friends and says “I had fun at school!” when I pick her up. It just warms my heart. Oh ya…now she’s two! I can’t believe I have a two-year-old. It feels like just yesterday I was updating this site saying that she had finally arrived. Now, I’m just maneuvering this thing called toddlerhood.

We kicked off 2020 by celebrating her birthday on the 2nd and just this past weekend we threw her official birthday party with all her classmates. She had a blast, and the parents did, too. We had her party at this fabulous place called Fox & Kit near our home and they were super accommodating. I usually take Jadyn there on rainy days because it’s just perfect.

One of my goals for 2020 is to be more diligent about updating this site! I want to do a better job of documenting how I’m handling everything in this crazy time in parenthood (can you say “terrible 2’s?!”) and also share any cool recipes, tips and tricks and lifestyle hacks.

Now I feel like we’re past the milestone phase and into keeping things fun with littles. I hope to see you in the comments this year!

Mom Truth Monday: Preschool is Hard

Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

I wanted to start a new series called Mom Truth Monday and talk about things that we deal with as moms (or dads!) that can be tricky, hard, humbling and more.

Remember when I was excited that Jadyn was starting preschool a few weeks ago? Well, three weeks into the school year and I have come to the realization that preschool is hard. Like really hard. More for me than for her, I think.

I’ll be the first to admit that right after her first official day, I walked down the steps to the café by her school, opened up my laptop to start my work day, all while silently crying to myself like that mom. I had to be strong in front of my kid. I didn’t want to cry in front of Jadyn because that would make her really upset and have her transition into preschool life be that much harder. She’d also likely cry with me.

Let me back up here for a brief moment.

Thinking about my daughter as a little person instead of the baby she was not too long ago, my husband and I came to the conclusion that we’d be doing her a huge disservice by not enrolling her in some sort of program before the age of two. She’s such a social butterfly outside of the house; she loves playing with kids, going on adventures, being outside and just loves living life. We decided to enroll her in the local JCC Preschool program, which caters to development versus a curriculum (although, they have a curriculum they do follow pretty loosely).

Jadyn is one of the youngest in her class–she’s only 20 months. This whole transition thing is really hard on her, especially since she’s in a “mommy, mommy, mommy!” stage and separation anxiety is real. Since I have been with her every second of every day (perks of working from home for Red Tricycle), I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t know how often my heartstrings would be pulled every drop off.

While I don’t really believe in astrology, I do think it provides a good sense of personality traits–at least from what I can observe about myself, my daughter and my husband. My daughter is pretty spot on with her Capricorn traits:

  • She’s persistent
  • Not comfortable with drastic change (read: sensitive)
  • Practical (I mean, she’s a toddler so how true is this right now, amiright?)
  • Disciplined

Preschool is a drastic change for her and others her age. Think about it: these little humans don’t have the robust vocabulary or the ability to form thoughtful sentences to articulate what they want. The “bye-bye mama” or “no, no” sentences we get is all 20-month-old toddlers can really form. Unless your little has been in daycare since early babyhood (more power to ya, if so!), then this is total chaos for their brains.

One thing that’s really helped us has been sticking to a morning routine during preschool drop offs. Here’s how our morning goes:

  1. Wake up, have breakfast, get ready and we’re in the car by 8:50 a.m. since preschool starts at 9 a.m. Luckily, the preschool is a 5 minute drive from our home.
  2. On the way to school, I always ask who Jadyn is going to see that day and mention some of her classmates. I always make sure to mention her teachers, as well.
  3. Once we arrive, we walk into the lobby area and say good morning to the fish in the fish tank for about two minutes, then head to her classroom.
  4. Upon entering Jadyn’s classroom we say good morning to her teachers and the kids who are already there, put her lunchbox in her cubby and I always ask her where she washes her hands. After we wash our hands, I let Jadyn either pick out two books for me to read to her or we do a puzzle. Once those books are read or puzzle is completed, I always say “okay, mommy has to go to work now, but she’ll be back right after lunch! I love you.”
  5. This is when the separation anxiety kicks right back in for my little and where I struggle to actually leave. A few times over the last three weeks I’ve had to hand my crying child to her teacher and head out the door. Not my favorite thing.

While I know the tears are only short-term (at least I hope they are), I know this is a drastic change for Jadyn. I have no doubt that within a couple more weeks, she’ll be fine and really excited to go to school and see her friends. Still though, this whole process doesn’t make it easier.

How’d you cope with sending your mini off to preschool? Leave a comment below.

Preschool Back-to-School Essentials

Can you believe it? Jadyn is heading off to preschool on Wednesday! My little baby isn’t much of a baby anymore. She’s a full-blown toddler with her own amazing personality. She absolutely loves being around other kids her age, so I’d be doing her a huge disservice by not enrolling her in preschool until next year.

As you all know I work for Red Tricycle full-time, which means I’m “in-the-know” for a lot back to school tips, tricks, ideas, traditions and more. That means I’ve taken all those great resources for back to school and modified them for a preschooler. While Jadyn will be going three days a week for half days, there are still things she needs. Here’s my list of back-to-school essentials.

Personalized Cup

This is a must. If you read my blog, I’m sure you also follow Tara Henderson on YouTube or Instagram, so when she posted these glitterific tumblers for her girls, I had to dig deeper and see who made them. Barbwire & Lace by B&C Creations on Etsy did! I placed an order for Jadyn’s tumbler (and let’s face it, my own, too) and the result is perfect. I mean, how can you not love this mommy & me combo! You can also check out my latest “Reviews” highlights on Instagram to see the unboxing. The lighting doesn’t do it justice!

Barbwire & Lace was kind enough to give my Made To Mommy readers a discount code! Use code LEIGH10 at checkout to save 10% on your order!

Bento Lunchbox

photo courtesy of Amazon.com

This is an absolute essential, especially if your toddler hates having food touch. Jadyn isn’t that picky, but still. The compartments of a bento lunchbox makes things easy. We opted for the Yumbox Original Leakproof Bento Lunchbox for Kids in Hollywood Pink. I love how each section is labeled with a food group to help moms and dads pack the right stuff for lunch.

New Backpack

Let’s be real here; Jadyn won’t be bringing any homework home these first few years of preschool, but she does need something to carry her lunchbox in! Pottery Barn Kids was my go-to site for this. Their backpack selection is on point and so are the colors they have available. We opted for the Mackenzie Aqua Lavender Pretty Butterflies backpack in the size mini. Jadyn is absolutely obsessed with butterflies and it’s clear that her favorite color is purple since everything is “puh-ple.” Pottery Barn Kids has the option of customizing the backpack, but since she’s little and is growing so fast I opted not to customize this one. Maybe I will when she’s in kindergarten and I get one that’ll last her through first or second grade. We’ve got some time.

New Outfit

photo courtesy of Carters.com

This is a given for any age: a back-to-school outfit! Jadyn has tons of clothes, but I’ll likely be sending her off in this outfit from Carter’s. Who doesn’t love a “caticorn” and comfy leggings for playtime?

Felt Letter Board

While I love these for quotes, I’ve been seeing a lot of moms and dads documenting first days of school on a felt letter board. I found this one on Amazon for fairly cheap as you have black and white letters with some script and emojis, too. While Jadyn doesn’t start till Wednesday, I still prepped the board for pictures. One less thing I have to do, right?

Do you have a toddler in preschool? I’d love to know how you prepped for back to school! Let me know in the comments below.

Keep It Cool: Summer Fun for Toddlers

It’s hot. Real hot here in Northern California. Now’s about the time where the temperatures rise and pretty much stay that way through end of September, beginning of October (we call it Indian Summer out here). While working full-time and Jadyn not in preschool yet (she starts in August [I’m not crying, you’re crying]) and being watched by my mom all week, we’ve had to come up with some fun ideas to keep her occupied during the day. Here are my picks for indoor/outdoor summer fun, because let’s face it, that A/C will be on starting at 10:30 a.m:

Little Tikes Garden Chairs

photo: Amazon.com

This light and easily movable chair can go anywhere you go, whether inside the house or out in the yard. Perfect spot to have a popsicle on a hot day or place next to the couch for movie night.

Little Tikes First Slide

I absolutely love this slide. When it first got delivered to the house it was so hot outside that we set it up in our living room and Jadyn was able to enjoy it indoors. Mom hack: it’s super light and easy to move around.

Step2 Cascading Cove Sand and Water Table (Deluxe with accessories and umbrella)

This is technically a sand and water table but Jadyn is a little too young to have a bunch of sand at her fingertips (except for when we go to the playground), so we fill both sides up with water. Head to Target’s Dollar Spot to find some great water toys and you’re in business for hours of endless fun!

Step2 Fun with Friends Kitchen

The beauty of Step2 products is that they’re light and easily transportable. We currently have this kitchen in our living room but can easily pick it up and bring it outside if we’re having a barbecue. With an inexpensive food add-on from Amazon, this kitchen, too, provides endless hours of fun for Jadyn.

SplashEZ 3-in-1 Sprinkler for Kids, Splash Pad, and Wading Pool for Learning

Mom tip: set this up before it gets too hot outside so the sun can warm up the water. While Jadyn is a little skeptical of sitting in the actual pool part of this splash pad, she loves having the rotating sprinklers spray water on her. Too cute and so much fun.

Bubbles

photo: Sebastian Pichler on Unsplash

Need I say more?

Traveling Abroad With A Toddler

It has taken me a bit to write this post because I wanted to make sure I had all my mom hacks ready to share with you when it comes to traveling with a toddler. First off, it’s definitely not an easy task, even when traveling with another family member. My mom, Jadyn and I went on this trip. While Jadyn is such an easy going little human, traveling for 14+ hours was hard on her little body.

Let me take a step back. The last time I took this trip to visit my family overseas, I was pregnant with her and that was a feat in and of itself. Battling the tail end of my first trimester nausea when ascending and descending was not fun. Can’t forget to mention the whole ears popping things – ouch! And jet lag. So watching my mini me go through this new experience and not understanding what’s happening broke my heart. In hindsight, she did really well.

On the non-stop flight to our destination, Jadyn did not want to stay on the plane once we got on. The loud noises and hundreds of people freaked her out (rightfully so) and she just lost it. I made the mistake of not giving her Tylenol before we took off for her little ears. Getting a toddler to suck on a pacifier when you want them to is really hard. No matter how much I lightly squeezed her cheeks, she was not having it. After about 45 minutes of excessive crying and hysterics, she finally fell asleep. I almost lost it because people all over the plane were looking at me like “is this going to be the child that cries the entire 14 hours?”

She slept for 10 hours on the flight there.

Once we got to our destination it was nighttime (about 11 p.m.), but really felt like morning for us since our flight was a red-eye. I bet you can imagine Jadyn wide awake. We were all tired from the flight, but our eyes were so open. After we got to my uncle’s house, showers were had and then we all tried to sleep. It took Jadyn till 3 or 4 a.m. to finally fall asleep and we then had to be up at 8 a.m. to go visit with my grandparents. It took Jadyn about a week to really get over her jet lag (our trip was 2.5 weeks long).

I’m so grateful that Jadyn got to meet her great-grandparents and spend time with her cousins. I’m also grateful that I got to spend time with my family because I don’t think I’ll be making this trip again until Jadyn’s a little bit older.

The flight back was a whole lot easier. I think this is because Jadyn already knew what to expect (she’s a really smart toddler) and I gave her some Tylenol before we boarded. So when we were flying home, she was already asleep once we started taking off. Also, the flight home wasn’t full, so we essentially had an entire row to ourselves, meaning Jadyn could stretch out between my mom and I. That was just pure luck.

Jadyn slept for 7 hours then woke up for a bit and fell back asleep for another 3, so during this 13 hour flight, she slept for 10.

Here are some of my mom hacks and tips on how to survive and international flight with a toddler:

Don’t over pack the diaper bag. I made this mistake on our flight there. I packed 1 diaper for every hour of the flight (which took up a lot of room in the diaper backpack!) along with three onesies, pajamas and a change of clothes. Too much stuff!

Bring new toys. This hack I found while watching Emily Norris on YouTube. This was a definite game changer because when Jadyn was awake, she was interested in the new toy for an hour or so which gave me (and others around me) a sigh of relief.

Pack snacks. I cannot stand airplane food and kids usually can’t either. Before this long haul red-eye flight, we usually catch a bite at an airport restaurant (I know, queue the uproar because it’s soooo expensive) which tends to hold us over for a majority of the flight. Packing easy-to-access snacks is a must on a 14+ hour flight. We packed pouches (albeit not enough for the return flight home), puffs and some crackers. We always made sure to eat before the flight.

Technology is your friend. Each parenting style is different and mine includes a little bit of monitored video watching. I can’t raise my daughter in such a tech-y world and not give her the option to watch movies on a device–sometimes and in moderation. I purchased the Amazon Fire Kids Edition tablet and downloaded the Movies Anywhere app. We had access to Moana, Coco and some other Disney classics. This was a lifesaver not only on flights, but during the week-long jet lag recovery.

Bring remedies. Thanks to altitude climbing, our ears pop when we’re on a plane. Us adults can result to chewing gum to ease the popping, but it’s very hard to force a baby or toddler to suck on their pacifier or take a bottle to help with that. I always was sure to have Tylenol and/or Benadryl packed in my diaper bag just in case I needed it. I should have given Jadyn a half dose of Tylenol on the flight there to help ease the ear popping (and probably would have helped with the 45 minutes of screaming, too), but I was so anxious and panicky about her first flight that I forgot. I was able to give her a partial dose on the way back which really helped.

Buy an extra seat. If you can afford it, do it. Holding 30+ pounds for 14 hours is killer on your arms. Luckily on the flight back we had almost a whole row to ourselves.

Stay calm. As hard as it is to not freak out and feel judged by all those stares coming your way from others on the plane, stay calm. I almost had a panic attack those first 45 minutes because I was feeling so judged by those around me. Even the woman sitting next to me asked if there was something wrong because Jadyn was screaming so loudly and so much that she was afraid it’d be for the whole flight.

I’d love to know how you handle long flights and some of your hacks! Leave a comment below.

The Importance of “Me Time” When You’re A Mom

Whether you’re heads deep in the latest project at work, planning countless events, a working mom, a WFH home or a SAHM, “me time” is so important. This didn’t occur to me until my best friend insisted I join her at her wine club in beautiful Sonoma, Calif. (aka, Wine Country). Mind you, she asked and kept asking about three weeks ago, so I figured that’d be enough of a heads up for the hubby to watch our 15-month-old while I go and have a good time with a close friend.

Boy did I need that me time and girl time. I’ve been so in tune with my daughter since she was born last year, then my job when I came back from maternity leave, that I haven’t really taken the time – or the day – for myself. Sure, I’ve gotten mani/pedis since Jadyn was born, but I’ve never really ventured away from comfy clothes and hair in a bun since becoming a mom. Only the rare occasions of a wedding or special event will I get all spruced up.

Since becoming a mom, my focus has been on my child and what is good for her: healthy foods, what products to use, breastfeeding vs formula, is she hitting every milestone, etc, that I have forgotten what it’s like to really be me.

I have missed me.

I have missed getting dolled up just to go out with a friend for an afternoon.

I have missed putting on a cute outfit, perfume and fixing up my hair.

I have missed conversations that don’t revolve around my daughter (although, they all end up that way when your kid is cute!).

I have missed laughing over stupid-funny memes and stories.

I have missed not having to worry about getting home quickly because I felt bad about being out.

It feels so good to have a little of the old me back.

The question I’m asking myself now, is how do I actually keep a little of the old me front and center in this new, absolutely amazing life I have with my beautiful daughter and cozy family?

Short answer: sign up for a wine club.

That’s right, I took the plunge. I signed up for the same wine club my bestie took me to: Gloria Ferrer Vineyards. This will give me an excuse once every three months to venture away from my day-to-day, get dolled up, indulge in a free flight of bubbly and just be me. Granted, I’ll likely bring a friend or two so I don’t have to do it alone.

Since becoming a new mom (or dad!), how did you find your old self in your new life? I’d love to know, so please leave a comment below!

Stress-Free Makeup Routine

One question I get asked a lot is “how do you find the time to do a full face of makeup?”

The short answer is that I have my husband or mom watch Jadyn for 20 minutes while I quickly do my makeup. 

The long answer is that it hasn’t always been that way throughout the last year. Most days I’m in activewear with a messy bun and glasses getting things done for work, chores around the house, taking Jadyn to activities and running errands.  But now that I’m a mom with a 13-month old, I needed to hone my makeup routine, make it stress-free and easy to complete in 30 minutes or less. For perspective, before Jadyn arrived last year, I could take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour just to do my makeup. Part of that was I would clean my brushes the night before to make sure they were ready for the next day. To save time, I don’t clean my brushes nearly as often. I barely get around to dampening my beautyblender in all honesty. Here are the products I used and the way I applied to get this look:


Face / Lip Products:

Eye Products:

Okay, so first I always do my base/face makeup. I start off by hydrating my skin with the Hangover Rx primer and then curl my lashes. Next up is foundation and concealer, applying both with a beautyblender. Once my concealer is on and blended, I immediately set the concealer with the Born This Way setting powder, followed by the Cover Fx foundation powder to set the rest of my face and blend the foundation down to my neck for a seamless look. I keep the “bake” under my eyes for any eyeshadow fallout so it’s easy to wipe away (same goes for mascara that gets on your cheeks!).

Next I fill in my brows with the Colourpop pencil and spooly them out so they’re pretty even. I don’t use a brow gel to hold them in place because I usually take my makeup off once I get home from my outing. Using the Tarte eyeshadow palette, I do my eye makeup: base is a color closest to my skin, followed by a transition brown in the crease using windshield wiper motions with a blending brush, then I mix two of the pinks together to build up the color in a crease using a different blending brush and lastly I use a glittery gold on my lid. To make the color really pop I spray my brush with a bit of setting spray to enhance the color. I take a clean blending brush to blend the crease colors upward to get a full eye look.

Lastly is the remainder of my face. I wipe away all the bake with the foundation brush I used to apply the Cover Fx powder. Then, I grab a contour brush and apply the Make Up For Ever contour to right under my cheekbones and on my jawline (applying to the jawline helps me look skinnier! 😉 ). Then I apply highlighter on my cheeks, brow and on my Cupid’s bow. Last but certainly not least I apply my lipliner, liquid lipstick and set everything with setting spray.

This is definitely my go-to for quick and easy makeup for a date night, or just running errands.

What’s your go-to makeup routine? I’d love to know in the comments.

Sunday Funday: California Academy of Sciences

Wow! I haven’t blogged since my recap of Jadyn’s first birthday. Well, she’s 14 months old now and always wants to be on the go, go go. So, what better way to be on the go than to explore our own backyard. And by backyard I mean San Francisco.

I’ve lived in the Bay Area my entire life and have only been to the California Academy of Sciences in elementary school. I haven’t found the time to explore it since its remodel––until now. Now that my little one is so eager to get outside and explore, the hubby and I figured taking her to the California Academy of Sciences would be a great way to accomplish two things: first, to see how Jadyn does with crowds and second, to see the fish!

California Academy of Sciences is located in the beautiful and historic Golden Gate Park and lucky for us it wasn’t raining today. The fountains were going full blast and families (and tourists) were enjoying the outside and having lovely picnics (note to self, go back during summertime). The museum is literally a two-minute walk from the Music Concourse parking garage (you go through the park and cross the street to get to the main entrance of the museum). When you get to the California Academy of Sciences, you can either stand in line to purchase tickets the traditional way, or use the kiosk. We used the kiosk and paid general admission ($35 per person) and Jadyn was of course free since she’s under two years old. The moment we stepped into the museum, Jadyn immediately squealed with excitement.

Jadyn absolutely loves fish. We discovered this during our Thanksgiving trip to Oregon when we went to a fish store to look at some for grandpa Larry’s fish tank. Ever since then, anytime Jadyn sees a fish she loses it. So we immediately headed to the aquarium. To get to the aquarium we had to wander through the natural history exhibits. Jadyn saw giraffes and giggled with glee. Same goes for the owls, tigers and other birds we walked past to get to the aquarium.

We hopped on the elevator down to the aquarium level and the excitement and joy on Jadyn’s face was incredibly contagious. She was kicking and laughing and smiling in her stroller the moment we stopped at the first fish tank. The Steinhart Aquarium is absolutely beautiful and features over 900 unique species. We saw rockfish, coral, jellyfish, guppies, starfish, sand dollars, crabs, stingrays and so many other aquatic life. We spent most of our time wandering the aquarium.

We wanted to see the rainforest and experience butterflies and birds flying around us, but the line was ridiculously long and Jadyn was due for a nap.

There’s also a planetarium at the California Academy of Sciences, but Jadyn is a bit young to really appreciate it.

All in all, this was a great first time in a large crowd for Jadyn. She wasn’t phased by anything or any other outbursts from other kids. She did so well that she walked out of the museum with a stuffed animal giraffe and seal, courtesy of daddy’s wallet, and then fell asleep in the car on the way home.

  • First time really seeing fish!
  • Fish fun with mommy and daddy.
  • More fish, please!
  • Jellyfish! Daddy’s favorite.
  • Pooped!

MOM HACKS/TIPS WHEN YOU GO:

  • Restrooms are located on the main level featuring changing tables if necessary. There’s also a family restroom to make things a bit easier.
  • Water stations throughout to refill those bottles.
  • There’s a terrace restaurant and also a cafe featuring many different types of food (pizza, sushi, deli, grill, etc).
  • Bring snacks. Easy to feed your little while on the go!
  • Bring an extra jacket. While the museum is heated, San Francisco is notoriously cold, so be sure to dress in layers.
  • For older kiddos, you can plan events or even take part in sleepovers.

Have you ever been to the California Academy of Sciences? I’d love to hear about your experience. Leave a comment below.