According to Modern Family Law, approximately 40% of first marriages end in divorce. Believe it or not, this number seems to be a percentage decline in recent years. That being said, the word divorce is still a scary one and one that’s still hard to talk about.
Is it still taboo? Maybe. The fact is, it’s all the more common and more times than not it’s the woman in the relationship that initiates it. At least that was the situation in my marriage.
I filed for divorce. I wanted out. I needed out.
But let’s rewind for a minute. While I wanted and needed out, it was my ex-husband who decided to leave. I’m just the one who told him that if he walked out the door, he wouldn’t be walking back in. And that took a lot of courage on my end to hold steadfast to.
Out of respect for my children, there are things I won’t share, but there are definitely things I will. Like how it took me two years to work up the courage to even think about filing for divorce. You read that right: think.
In hindsight, I’m glad I waited because I wouldn’t have my son if I didn’t, but my marriage was falling apart long before he was even born. Communication wasn’t there, needs were definitely not being met—and while, I too, can take some blame for things falling apart, a majority of it wasn’t me.
But, me being who I am, tried to fix it. I wanted to be able to tell my children that mommy did everything she could to fix what was broken.
It was too broken to fix.
Values and priorities no longer aligned. The children, me, this marriage were no longer priority for my ex-husband anymore.
So, I filed for legal separation at first. Then, after a few months of working through the process with my attorney—and my ex-husband’s true colors coming out—dissolution of marriage.
That was in May of 2022.
My divorce wasn’t finalized until my birthday, September 15, of 2023. Over a year later. It was the best birthday present I have ever received. The best email from my attorney. But in that grueling year I had to:
- Meet with the superior court to come up with a step-up plan regarding the children for my ex-husband
- Show up to multiple court hearings
- Write countless legal responses to things said about me that weren’t true
- Write a settlement agreement
- Agree on a co-parenting counselor
- Pay legal fees
- Try and maintain my mental health
- Ensure my kids remained happy and healthy *this was the most important of them all
Fast forward to July of 2025, and me writing this Mom Truth Monday post. Divorce is never easy. Emotions run high and frankly, they still are at times.
Are me and my ex-husband successfully co-parenting?
Not really.
Maybe sometimes.
Depends on the month.
I’d say we’re probably successfully parallel parenting. We agree on the big things regarding the kids—like doctors and schools—but there are other things that we may not agree on and still need the help of our co-parenting counselor. I am still in therapy. I’m not sure if he is.
The children are primarily with me and are happy, healthy, thriving and growing up to be the best versions of themselves they can be. My son will never know his parents together as we divorced when he was six months old, but my daughter still remembers. She had four years of her mom and dad together.
But it was still the best decision I ever made for my kids. And me.
If you’re going through divorce, or thinking about it, just know that I see you, I’m with you and you’ll make it through. It’s hard, but your happiness matters, too. It’s the right decision. I promise.